Caity

Round 102983….ding ding ding!!!

I’m hoping I’ll do better today, I worked out lots so I feel good there. I do work tonight with again those horrible temptations, my fingers are crossed that I’ll dig deep and find that stupid will power. Maybe I’ll ask my co-worker for help, to punch my in the head when I attempt to eat something bad. Haha Ee!
When I was doing Atkins I found myself to be in a boot camp like mind set, took a few days to get there, but when I was there I was strong willed and ate what I needed to and turned down what I didn’t need. Eventually food cravings were gone. I need to try and get to that place with this calorie counting. I almost find it harder to do. Atkins is a lot of food preperation and cooking. Where as Calorie counting is both raw and cooked. It’s so easy to just grab a special K bar, or an apple or 10. Apples are really good for you, yes, but when you eat as many as I did yesterday there is definitely a line between the right amount and better. However, better a crap load of apples than a crap load of potato chips. I still somehow gained 2 pounds from allll of the food I ate yesterday. It had to of been those fries, and the no exersize. I’m also a woman and around this time I pack on a few pounds. But still, I’m a disappointed in myself, I can’t though. It’s normal for weight to fluctuate throughout the week, but I won’t lie it’s really discouraging - especially when it’s an obsession to step on the scale 10+ times a day.

Vicious cycle.

I’ve done good so far today, and I did my routine work out for the day (wanted to go for a jog/run) but it’s pissing rain outside. I’ll fill up on water at work tonight and hopefully tomorrow I’ll feel less gross especially when I weigh myself. Yes I know I shouldn’t, but I simply can’t help it - obsessed.

Anywho that’s it for now, my update, my craptacular update. Time for more sit ups!!

I hate working in a place of food. I work at Subway, which isn’t horrible but isn’t great either, it’s always a struggle going to work and being tempted to munch down on food. But right next door is a delicious burger joint, and I’ve done really well not eating their food. But today a lady walks over with a honkin’ thing of fries and tells us that she screwed up an order and gave us the fries. So what do I do? Basically plow my face into the thing of fries, and eat a crap load of them. They were delicious, but I felt really guilty after obviously. I’ve been doing really well the last few days, and this won’t make me stop doing well, but I keep doing this, getting the ball rolling and thinking things are so easy, but my will power is still so weak. When will my will power be strong enough to fight the urge? It’s so incredibly frustrating, I don’t mind having the odd cheat day, but this is getting rediculous - I have the weakest will power in life.
I wish I was like my sister, she forgets to eat sometimes, doesn’t keep checking the fridge to see if there are new items every 5 minutes, doesn’t eat everything for the sake of eating, doesn’t eat more than a good portion, because she just doesn’t care. She eats to survive and nothing more. I don’t know what my deal is, but I want it to go away. How can I make it go away?

Okay, it’s official I LOVE counting calories. What was I think doing Atkins for so long? I was INSANE!
Last night I was super worried about weighing myself this morning because I ate quite a bit of food. But it was a lot of low cal stuff, ie grapes, apples, cucumbers, thinsations etc etc. I was sure I’d gain like 5 lbs, because on atkins if I DARED to do that I would have gone up at LEAST 4 lbs. But when I stepped on the scale this morning I went down .4 lbs. Which is GREAT! I feel so healthy just on day 3. More energy, happier, and my tummy is satisfied with all this great food.
I could just ramble on and on about how great this is. Why, I’m enjoying a delicious apple right now! Anywho, thanks everyone for the on going support, it’s helping me tons:) And good luck to all of you!! love love love.

Yesterday was successful, and today is going to be successful too. I’ve already eaten breakfast, and let me tell you, I ate my first grapes after months and months of not eating fruit. What a refreshing fruit that is! I missed fruits so much. I realize now how stupid Atkins is, not incorperating fruits and grains is simply rediculous.
I know this will be a slower journey but I’m way exciting to eat healthy again, and this time the weight won’t pile on as fast if/when I eat a none healthy food item. I’m REALLY excited!!
And to boost me up, Biggest Loser is on tonight. My favourite show right now, it’s my weekly inspiration. Over all I’m uber happy, and can’t wait to get the ball rolling - which in my opinion it already is rolling pretty well.

I’ve been doing Atkins off and on for the last few years, and though it’s a great weight loss boost, why am I STILL over weight? I enjoy the foods I was allowed to eat, but if it was really successful I would have lost the weight and I would have stayed there. But instead I run the risk of gaining 5 lbs from one cheat day. I’m not sure why but I work better seeing huge results, like 2 pound weight loss per night. That’s not healthy. If I’m going to be losing and gaining this much, why not just do the old fashioned calorie counting and lose weight slowly, and safely. That way I can enjoy all foods in smaller portions.

With the help of my friend, I’m going to attempt a different path in weight loss. It may be slower, and at times very discouraging, but in the long run I’ll be happier, and healthier.

Wish me luck!!

I’ve battled with weight loss for so long, and I always start off losing weight really well and then somehow along the way I fall of the wagon and eat more than my body is capable.  It’s a dirty habit, and I want more than anything to change it. I’ve written a few blogs on here and then deleted them because I was ashamed that I continued to start over again. It’s always ’start again’ or ’start tomorrow’ or ‘this is my last bad meal/treat’. I’ve had enough of that. The depression attached to the weight is exhausting to carry around with me. I’m negative, and I can see in my friends they are not only sad with the way I bash myself, but also frustrated because I think they see differently than what I see when I look in the mirror. I know I’m not as ugly as I see myself to be, nor am I monstrously large.  I need to change myself on the inside and out. I need confidence.

3 days ago I started Atkins over again, and I’ve worked out really hard everyday and I’ve lost 8 lbs.  This time is absolutely 100% different because I’ve given myself dates with goals. The 25th of September is my first weight loss goal. Halloween is my second weight loss goal, November 26th is my birthday and it’s my third goal. And the last goal is New years. I WILL be 160lbs. My mom is assisting with my goals, rewarding me with money to buy new clothing and such. And if I reach my 160 lb goal, she will pay for my flight to Europe for my backpacking adventure. That is a HUGE deal for me, I’ve never been more dedicated and determined to achieve such a large obstacle. It will be incredible, and I hope that with my  trials and tribulations through out the next few months I’ll be something of an inspiration.

This is it. This is the one where I change. For good